If Jesus Came Back…

As seen on:

http://theinsanityreport.com/home/index.php/2009/09/11/random-thoughts/if-jesus-came-back/

By Kriss

If Jesus came back…Glenn Beck would have his roving band of lunatics pressuring the White House to distance themselves from his “Socialist” beliefs.

If Jesus came back…Sean Hannity would label him an enemy of Israel and therefore Enemy #1 of the United States.

If Jesus came…back Lou Dobbs would be ranting and raving every day about how Hey-Zues and his “12 disciples” were in this country illegally.

If Jesus came back…Orly Taitz and other Birthers would be demanding to see his birth certificate.

If Jesus came back & talked about diversity…Glenn Beck would go on Fox & Friends & call him a racist with a deep seated hatred of white people.

If Jesus came back…the Bush Administration would have locked him in Gitmo & waterboarded him 183 times for the location of his 12 disciples.

If Jesus came back…and he promoted talking to and be understanding of our Muslim brothers/sisters, Darth Cheney would call him a traitor.

If Jesus came back…in the middle of Jesus’s speech to the world about peace & love, Joe Wilson would stand up and shout “You Lie”.

If Jesus came back…Republicans would fight giving him more funding to feed the poor cause the poor should just work harder.

If Jesus came back…the GOP would protest him giving a “Back to School” speech for fear of “indoctrination” because of his communist beliefs.

If Jesus came back…most people on the right wouldn’t know cause he’d be working for some “community organizer” group.

If Jesus came back…he’d probably be on the terrorist watch list.

If Jesus came back…his trial wouldn’t have been public. He would have been renditioned to a country with lax torture laws.

If Jesus came back…Sarah Palin would talk about how he palled around with terrorists, thieves, hookers and pimps.

If Jesus came back…Fox & Friends would ask if he went to school at a Madrassa.

If Jesus came back…Glenn Beck would use a Youtube video of him using a little boy’s 7 loaves of bread and a few fish to feed the poor as proof he wants to “Spread the Wealth”.

If Jesus came back…Fox News would have the following headline: “Jesus of Nazareth…Savior or Communist Community Organizer? We Report, You Decide”.

If Jesus came back…he’d have to remove his sandals like everyone else in the security line at the airport.

If Jesus came back…Michael Steele would appear on Meet the Press talking about how Jesus is rationing miracles.

If Jesus came back…Right Wing blogs would talk about how Jesus’ apostle Peter supported euthanasia.

If Jesus came back…the RNC would sue him for copyright infringement.

If Jesus came back…and gave a speech about “Laying down our arms”, the NRA and their members.
 would show up to his sermon with assault rifles and signs that said “Pry it from my cold dead hands”.